Eileen Myles

THE SADNESS OF LEAVING 

Everything’s
   so far away—
my jacket’s
   over there. I’m terrified
      to go & you
won’t miss me
      I’m terrified by the
bright blues of
         the subway
      other days I’m
        so happy &
prepared to believe
      that everyone walking
down the street is
         someone I know.
The oldness of Macy’s
      impresses me. The
      wooden escalators
              as you get
higher up to the furniture,
     credit, lampshades—
      You shopped here
        as a kid. Oh,
    you deserve me! In
      a movie called
        Close Up—once in
a while the wiggly
bars, notice
    the wiggly blue
      bars of
        subway entrances,
the grainy beauty,
    the smudge. I won’t
kill myself today. It’s
    too beautiful. My heart
      breaking down 23rd
  St. To share this
     with you, the
     sweetness of the
           frame. My body
     in perfect shape
       for nothing but
         death. I want
    to show you this.
          On St. Mark’s Place
             a madman screams:
    my footsteps, the
        drumbeats of Armageddon.
          Oh yes bring me
          closer to you Lord.
    I want to die
          Close Up. A handful
    of bouncing yellow
          tulips for David.     I
        admit I love tulips
             because they
          die so beautifully.
                                        I
        see salvation in
  their hanging heads.
A beautiful exit. How do
        they get to
              feel so free? I am
        trapped by love—
               over french fries
          my eyes wander to
               The Hue Bar. A blue
          sign. Across the
      life. On my way to
         making a point,
              to making
               logic, to not
      falling in love to-
                night and
          let my pain remain
          unwrapped—to push
the machine—Paul’s
      staying in touch, but
  oh remember Jessica
      Lange, she looked so
               beautiful all
           doped up, on her
      way to meet King
        Kong. I sit
     on my little red
         couch in February
     how do they get
          to feel so free
 1,000,000 women
          not me moving through
the street tonight
   of this filmy
     city & I
       crown myself
     again & again
         and there
      can’t be
         two kings.

José Olivarez

I Walk Into Every Room and Yell Where the Mexicans At

i know we exist because of what we make. my dad works at a steel mill. he worked at a steel mill my whole life. at the party, the liberal white woman tells me she voted for hillary & wishes bernie won the nomination. i stare in the mirror if i get too lonely. thirsty to see myself i once walked into the lake until i almost drowned. the white woman at the party who might be liberal but might have voted for trump smiles when she tells me how lucky i am. how many automotive components do you think my dad has made. you might drive a car that goes and stops because of something my dad makes. when i watch the news i hear my name, but never see my face. every other commercial is for taco bell. all my people fold into a $2 crunchwrap supreme. the white woman means lucky to be here and not mexico. my dad sings por tu maldito amor & i’m sure he sings to america. y yo caí en tu trampa ilusionado. the white woman at the party who may or may not have voted for trump tells me she doesn’t meet too many mexicans in this part of new york city. my mouth makes an oh, but i don’t make a sound. a waiter pushes his brown self through the kitchen door carrying hors d’oeuvres. a song escapes through the swinging door. selena sings pero ay como me duele & the good white woman waits for me to thank her.  

Precious Okoyomon

New seasons

my mother got married for a greencard
 I mean we’re living thru some shit
big fat pussy clouds / violent season
my mouth is full of colonial regret
 I mean i am my mother’s  daughter
In the streets i hunger for my suffering
gestures of the broken black back
 do i ever get tired of punishing myself > nah son
all these bitches is my sons
deified oppression
clenched teeth
I’m leaking everywhere
aint this shit sexy
this is what my mother immigrated for
assimilation accreditation
this is a dying season lonely vibrations
under the glare of this dimly lit bathroom
snorting coke with this white boi
off this now defunct toilet
 I mean my ancestors seem confused
I mean this is the caucasian dream
I am big and round and ready
I mean my lil dark body is twitching / i must be high right now
I am unliving my mother
becoming the body
fed up with my making
    violent symmetry / easy intensity
My golden body
I address my prayer to myself
A body on it’s  knees
i’m living in fear / without memory  /betraying my body /  unearthing light
begin erasure
nothing to write home about

Precious Okoyomon

from AJEBOTA

I’m feeling very tired and frustrated about the idea of fixing my life.
I am not lonely because you are here.
You can feel bad about your life with me.
We can feel bad about our lives together.
We can feel mixed emotions.
Like a tossed salad.
Together we can be a tossed salad without croutons / no tomatoes / no onions / no cheese.
Together we can be an unsatisfying salad.

rupi kaur

i know it's hard
believe me
i know it feels like
tomorrow will never come
and today will be the most
difficult day to get through
but i swear you will get through
the hurt will pass
as it always does
if you give it time and
let it so let it
go
slowly
like a broken promise
let it go

Anne Carson

From The Beauty of the Husband. A Fictional Essay in 29 Tangos

XII.

You want to see how things were going from the husband’s point of view⎯
let’s go round the back,
there stands the wife
gripping herself at the elbows and facing the husband.
Not tears he is saying, not tears again. But still they fall.
She is watching him.
I’m sorry he says. Do you believe me.
Watching.
I never wanted to harm you.
Watching.
This is banal. It’s like Beckett. Say something!
I believe

your taxi is here she said.
He looked down at the street. She was right. It stung him,
the pathos of her keen hearing.
There she stood a person with particular traits,
a certain heart, life beating on its way in her.
He signals to the driver, five minutes.
Now her tears have stopped.
What will she do after I go? he wonders. Her evening. It closed his breath.
Her strange evening.
Well he said.
Do you know she began.
What.

If I could kill you I would then have to make another exactly like you.
Why.
To tell it to.
Perfection rested on them for a moment like a calm lake.
Pain rested.
Beauty does not rest.
The husband touched his wife’s temple
and turned
and ran
down
the
stairs.